This morning Rich and I drove up to Sacramento to a foot reflexology place. I have been there once before and I was happy enough the first time, I decided to go ahead and make the drive back again to get some cheap foot rubbing.
I am not sure what was different about it this time. I don't know if my body was overly sensitive or if I was this lady's first customer of the day because it was pretty much the worst massage experience I have ever had. And by the way...it was the same lady who did my massage last time.
At the beginning of the massage I told the lady that my back was hurting due to how my feet were soaking in the tub and how the chair was reclined. There was absolutely no support to my back and it was like tiny little constant shooting pains. When I told her that I needed to move she looked at me with this blank stare. That probably should have been my first clue as to how my hour was going to go.
She started by rubbing my head and shoulders. Now let me explain to all of you that I enjoy hard pressure massages. So I tend to not say anything to the person because I don't want them to let up on pressure for the rest of the massage....just maybe in certain places. About three or four strokes into my neck and shoulder I think I screamed out loud. I opened my eyes in horror of the pain and the lady was smiling and said, "Too hard?". "YES!" I said. The rest of the time she spent on my shoulder area I was so tense that I seriously did not relax and I think it made it worse.
On to the feet/shins. When I get pedicures I have to tell whoever is doing it not to rub my shin areas. They are sensitive for whatever reason and it hurts like crazy. As she starts in rubbing the bottom of my feet, I am starting to relax because it feels good and I am thinking to myself...this is what I drove 40 minutes for. Just as I was fully relaxed, eyes closed, probably a minute to two from snoring, she moves to my shins and once again I think I screamed out loud. Let me just stop to explain this to you, the shoulder and the shin incident were so painful...It was as if she stood up and did a handstand on my shoulders and shins and put all of the weight her little 100 lb. body had and it went into the pressure of her hands that went into my skin. Again, my eyes flew open and I said, "That hurts!"....nothing, she does it again. "THAT HURTS!!!" FINALLY, a lady a couple chairs over from us says something in their native tongue and she lets off of the pressure.
At the end of my massage last time, she had me sit up and then she rubbed my back for about ten minutes. Which I loved. THIS TIME, apparently they have changed their routines and got these new chairs because she had me roll over onto my stomach and it looked like a massage chair. I was encouraged because I thought of how bad my back was hurting and how I could really use a quick rub down.....that was not what happened and somehow I think I will never be able to explain this so people understand what really went down....
As I am laying there, she starts to rub my back and neck. I am starting to think this $20 is going to good use because again, I really just showed up to have my feet rubbed. She continues to rub all over my back, but I realize that she is starting to use a little more pressure than before and it is starting to get a little uncomfortable. Again, hesitant to say anything due to out lack of our communication skills, I let her continue. I can feel her sitting on the edge of the chair, and then with what appears to be her elbow and all 100 lbs. of her, she begins to work her way up my back. I scream again. She can't hear me of course because my head is now face down. She works up one side of my spine and then down the other. I tell myself just get through this and she will be done. The hour is up and what really is left to do???? THE UNTHINKABLE!!!!
Right when I think she is done. I feel her sit up from the chair and I start to move to get up and pay to get the hell out of there. Then I feel it.....HER!! ON MY BACK!!!! The little 100 lb. lady is now sitting on my butt and she is thrusting her elbows into all parts of my back. Now, to be completely honest with you....I thought it was a joke. I thought to myself...I am on candid camera. The whole room is in on it. They are all carrying on in their conversation acting normal while they are secretly taping me and this lady who is on my back and torturing me. This is not happening. I again go to make some loud sound as a SOS for anyone to hear me and some over to help. Then she gets up. "You feel good?" she asks? I don't really know what expression I had on my face, but she left quickly to get me some hot tea. I looked around the room, again suspicious of everyone, and quickly go pay the lady at the front counter.