It's 4:50pm on Friday afternoon and I am waiting patiently for the authorities to either come and get me, or question me about the high-pitch screaming coming from my house. Or more importantly the laundry room.
You see I have boys. Boys play with trucks, cars, balls, or anything they can get their hands on that will turn into a vehicle of any type or more importantly a weapon. Girls play with dolls and pretty things and they have trunks in their room filled with princess dresses and jelly high heels. Girls are meant to play dress up. We love it. We live for it. We actually, if given several chances for wardrobes changes, can play all day in this little world of make believe. We're girls...this is what we do. So why do my boys feel the need to do the same?
Now...don't freak out. They don't have a trunk filled with princess dresses that they spend the afternoon trying on. They have the bottom drawer of a dresser that is filled with every baseball, basketball, football, hockey shirt imaginable. And they take turns, yes multiple wardrobe changes a day, playing each and every sport. And of course when they switch sports, they must then go in and completely change into their new uniform because heaven forbid the next fourteen minutes of the made up hockey game in my living room would be played out in a soccer uniform!!!!
This is my breaking point. The clothes hamper is my breaking point. The thirteen piles of clothes on the couch is my breaking point. The MULTIPLE wardrobe changes are my breaking point.
Did you know a seven minute basketball game warrants the need to wash an entire outfit? I didn't know that. I wasn't aware that wearing something for seven minutes meant it was dirty enough that it too belonged in the hamper along with the clothes that had been worn all day. Did you know that? No, you didn't? Well, guess what...apparently it does. Yes...everything that touches both Matthew and Ryan's body...if only for minutes at a time...goes right into the clothes hamper.
Now, I know you think...Hello??!! What is the matter with you, Heather? You have successfully taught your kids to put their clothes in the hamper when they are done with them? Yes. Yes, I have. But don't be fooled!!!!! The hamper is round, tall, and in the corner of their bedroom which makes it the PERFECT BASKETBALL HOOP!!!! They are simply carrying the game from the living room to the bedroom.
Because Mama hit her breaking point today, Matthew has been doing laundry all afternoon. He screamed dragging the hamper down the hall. He screamed while separating darks and lights. He screamed when he put hangers on all his shirts and then hung them up. And he screamed and screamed and screamed. You didn't hear it? Twenty bucks says my neighbors' did!!!
And before you send the hate mail...save it! There were no children harmed during the process of teaching them how to do household chores. They are fine. Alive and kickin'. And one day....in the VERY distant future...my daughter-in-laws will thank me for their husbands ability to sort, wash, fold and put away.